21 Things I Want in a Lover

[2] The Alternative rock[3] song starts with a "toothy" guitar hook,[4] played by Dean DeLeo, followed by Morissette listing the 21 things she wants in a lover, "not necessarily needs but qualities that [she] prefer[s].

"[5] Sal Cinquemani of Slant Magazine noted that the song "is structured in Morissette's distinct listy lyrical fashion," citing the line "Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know that it does not equate wisdom?"

"[9] She further explained the song on a track-by-track commentary on the album: "The more aware of the qualities I am looking for, the more I'm able to recognize them when they appear, as opposed to having the initial meeting romantically be singularly dependent on chemical reaction or some intangible, indefinable, heart-palpitating, palm- sweating thing.

Because the palm sweating, heart palpitating beginnings of a relationship often result in a huge amount of incompatibility, so the concept of compatibility is so much more important to me as I get older.

Stephen Thomas Erlewine of Allmusic chose the track as one of the highlights on Under Rug Swept,[11] while Michael Paoletta of Billboard picked the song as a "winning moment" on the album.

[5] Robert Christgau praised the singer for "instantly demonstrat[ing] her gift for the catchy, crunching out a guitar riff," also noting that one of the things she wants in a man, such as "opposing capital punishment" and "coming out for sex 'more than three times a week" are "topping memorable verse with indelible chorus.

"[16] Rob Mitchum of Pitchfork Media wrote that the lyrics about what she's looking for in a man is "a move that could come off as self-indulgent, but in a personality as luminescent as Ms. Morissette, is nothing short of entrancing.

The music video for the single comprises clips from the DVD release Feast on Scraps; some of these are from a performance of the song at Ahoy in Rotterdam, Netherlands on August 13, 2002, during Morissette's Toward Our Union Mended Tour.