69 Things to Do with a Dead Princess is an experimental novel by the British writer Stewart Home, first published by Canongate in 2002.

Following epigraphs from Karl Marx and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, the novel tells the story of a man, variously called Callum or Alan, who is planning to kill himself.

Callan's book claims that Diana was murdered then her corpse was dragged around Scottish stone circles until it fell apart, and Callum/Alan decides to test this by repeating the process with a ventriloquist's dummy.

"[1] In a favourable review, she noted many of Home's usual preoccupations including sex, philosophy, and settling petty grudges, but also a good knowledge of Aberdeen and a surprising absence of skinheads.

[4] Publishers Weekly described it as a "fusion of highbrow theory and pulp pornography"; their critic found it "occasionally tedious" but OK for fans of Kathy Acker or Robert Coover.