[1] While married to Lord Chaplin, she met James Lees-Milne, who became her second husband, during World War II while she was engaged in an affair with the arts patron Princess Winnaretta de Polignac.
During the 1930s James Lees-Milne had been the lover of Harold Nicolson, husband of the writer Vita Sackville-West who was herself noted for her high-profile lesbian affairs.
In later written accounts James Lees-Milne said that he and his wife enjoyed an active sexual relationship prior to their marriage, but less so afterwards.
When in the late 1950s Lees-Milne began a - mostly platonic - affair with a younger man the marriage became stormy, predominantly as a result of Alvilde's jealousy (she was prone to spying on him, even to the extent of steaming open his letters and listening to his telephone conversations).
By the 1970s, the Lees-Milnes were devoted to one another, until at the age of 70 James conceived a romantic (but platonic) relationship with a man of 25; this caused considerable strain to their marriage, and led to a permanent rift between Alvilde and Rosamond Lehmann.
She died suddenly on 18 March 1994, James Lees-Milne having found her collapsed on the pathway of their Badminton home.