In the episode, an embarrassing incident with a turnip, an ostrich feather and a fanatically Puritan aunt leads to a right royal to-do in the Blackadder household.
A few moments later, Baldrick informs Blackadder that there was a messenger at the door who told him Queen Elizabeth demands his presence at court as his rival, Lord Melchett, is very sick.
To outlast Melchett at the drinking contest while simultaneously not making a fool out of himself in front of his aunt and uncle, Blackadder conjures up a plan to avoid alcohol without the other drinkers noticing, telling Baldrick to hand him water when he asks for his "incredibly strong ale" at the party.
The couple are comically revealed to be maniacally devout and denounce most everyday comforts as the work of Satan, including chairs (for being comfortable; at home, Lord Whiteadder sits on a spike, with his wife sitting on him - "Two spikes would be extravagant"), mashed foodstuffs (believing that mashing is not what God intended and was designed to destroy the "sacred shape" of vegetables), the concept of family (due to the requirement of sex) and warmth (since "cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics").
To make matters worse, Lord Nathanial Whiteadder has taken a "vow of silence", leaving Edmund's abusive and volatile aunt to hold the conversation.
The intoxicated guests make Blackadder's situation even more difficult by being very rowdy, annoying and destructive, causing him to concoct increasingly ridiculous stories and lies to conceal what is going on from his aunt and uncle.
Forty-two seconds later, Blackadder re-enters the dining room blind drunk, bearing an ostrich feather up his bottom and wearing a cardinal's hat, drunkenly informing Percy he lost the bet.
Blackadder, who is sitting on a chair, begins remarking about a song concerning goblins and soon reveals his intention of earning (as he puts it) "a whopping great inheritance" from his aunt and uncle".
Melchett's drinking crew assume the Whiteadders to be strippers, and release the Queen from the cupboard while Blackadder drunkenly believes she is Merlin the Happy Pig.