Cooties is a 2014 American zombie comedy film directed by Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion from a screenplay that was written by Ian Brennan and Leigh Whannell.

It stars Elijah Wood, Alison Pill, Rainn Wilson, Jack McBrayer, Whannell, Nasim Pedrad, Brennan, and Jorge Garcia as a group of elementary school employees who fight to survive an outbreak among students that turn them into aggressive zombies when someone eats chicken nuggets that contain a virus.

Meanwhile, an aspiring horror writer named Clint Hadson substitutes at Fort Chicken Elementary, where he is reunited with his former high school crush Lucy McCormick, whom he learned is dating the physical education teacher Wade Johnson.

Later, Clint, Lucy, Wade, and the other surviving staff members (consisting of Doug Davis, Tracy Lacey, and Rebekkah Halverson) are forced to flee the faculty lounge when attacked by Patriot.

As Wade is forced to kill Dink when he followed them into the auditorium, the group is joined by a teenager named Tamra, who they found was scratched by one of the infected kids.

Doug concludes from his autopsy of Dink that the infected children are mostly brain dead and the virus only affects people that haven't gone through puberty, meaning that Tamra is safe.

The group sends Clint through the ventilation system to get a chocolate bar for Calvin, along with Wade's truck keys and their cellphones.

The staff fights their way through the hallway and the parking lot, with Hatachi being overwhelmed by the infected children inside the school, while Wade stays behind to ensure the others get away.

They manage to escape, driving out of the town to Antarctica "someplace kids don't wanna go" as Shelley burns to death in pursuit.

In an alternate ending, the remaining adults reach a campground, only to be surrounded by the infected children before cutting the screen to black, leaving their fates unknown.

It's the best play on the recent zombie craze, and while not as well-timed as Zombieland, it has the potential to match that movie's success with a wide enough release.

"[20] Neil Genzlinger of The New York Times wrote, "though Cooties has a reasonable amount of laughs and frights, and though real teachers may find it an apt allegory for the zombielike charges in their classrooms, it's not really funny enough to achieve grown-up cachet, and it's too ugly and violent for younger viewers.

"[21] Nick Allen of RogerEbert.com gave the film one and a half stars, saying, "Cooties is meant to be a big joke, but with such a stunted imagination for its story or style, it's only a single gag.

"[22] Robert Abele of the Los Angeles Times found that the film started off promising "But as with most of these genre-tweaking romps, the fizz dissipates and what's left are obvious gore beats, lame jokes, uninspired plot mechanics and an inability to end the mayhem satisfactorily.