Etiquette rules in the United States and Canada generally apply to all individuals, unlike cultures with more formal class structures, such as those with nobility and royalty.
[citation needed] Judith Martin states that if one wishes to become an accepted member of any society or group, one "had better learn to practice its etiquette".
[6] Mary Mitchell states that in most, if not all, cases where conflict emerges between external rules and the urge to be kind and considerate, manners should trump etiquette.
For example, a woman may accept an invitation extended to her entire family, even if the husband and children must send regrets (all in the same letter to the host).
[citation needed] Invitations for mixed social events, such as parties, weddings, etc., must be extended to the established significant others of any invitees, such as spouses, fiancés, or long time or live-in boyfriends or girlfriends.
[15] If the couple does not live together, the host should inquire as to the partner's full name and address and send a separate invitation for formal occasions.
[21] Engraved invitations, which are more expensive than printed ones, are shipped with protective tissue paper to prevent wet ink from smudging, but as the ink has dried by the time they are received by the hosts, they should be removed before mailing to guests, and etiquette authorities consider their inclusion to be improper and a form of bragging.
[18][26] She advocates discarding them and replying on one's own stationery, while Peggy Post suggests that guests use them if included, to avoid interfering with the host's card collection system.
"[30] Traditionally, "the guest list was divided equally between the bride's and the groom's families and friends, but this is no longer considered necessary".
[32] Likewise, etiquette writers prescribe that the selection of a bridal party should be based on interpersonal closeness to the bride or to the groom.
"[40] While commonly seen in reception rooms, a cash bar indicates that the host believes the guests should have access to drinks, but is not willing to pay for them.
[48] While black attire has become common for female wedding party members, not all etiquette writers believe this is a correct selection.
Peggy Post writes that "[v]irtually all colors are acceptable today, including black and shades of white".
[49] Others, such as Judith Martin, argue that in North American culture "black symbolizes death....[A] great many people are still shocked to see it at weddings, even on guests, because it gives them tragic associations".
[50] If seating is limited (or there is standing-room only) in public transportation or waiting areas, it is proper for people in good health to offer their seats to an elderly person and to those with special needs, such as the frail, disabled, people with infants, and pregnant women, or women in general more traditionally.