A significant proportion of estrangements involve a third party,[1]: 22–23 such as a member of the extended family or the adult child's spouse.
In some cases, taking responsibility and making amends for harsh words or difficult circumstances may improve the relationship.
Although the rejected party's psychological and physical health may decline, the estrangement initiator's may improve due to the cessation of abuse and conflict.
[4] The rejected parties suffer adverse psychological consequences such as loneliness, low self-esteem, aggression, and depression.
[5] Family estrangement activates the grief response because people who have experienced it often see it as a loss they were not prepared for and happened unexpectedly.
[6] However, the rejected family member may not achieve the final grief stage of acceptance, given that the social death of the relationship is potentially reversible.
Non-supportive or absent family members during someone's end-of-life acutely increase the pain and stress of the final days.
[10] An October 2022 YouGov poll in the United States found that 29% of Americans were estranged from a parent (11%), child (9%), sibling (14%), or grandparent (5%).
Some have pointed to recent political and cultural changes, for example an "enormous expansion in behaviors described as harmful, traumatizing or abusive" that occurred within a very short time frame, i.e., within a single generation.
[15][16][17] Other estrangers may see a lack of emotional support or clash of values as the justification, or may blame the other person for their own unhappiness.
[20] Life choices regarding education, profession, and geography are other potentially emotionally charged topics that reflect social values.
Both the PTSD sufferer's symptoms and the family members' failure to be sufficiently supportive can contribute to the estrangement.
[22] From disputes over inheritances to perceived insults in public settings, a sense of betrayal can weaken the trust bonds of a family.
In Bowen's theory, emotional cutoff and avoidance are unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety and stress.
[27] A decision to "live life forward", and to not seek the emotional validation of getting the other parties to agree about what happened in the past, helps some people build a functional, if sometimes more limited, relationship.