They enroll the help of a priest and dwarf bread baker and museum curator to write the sacred instructions and bake the clay, respectively; Meshugah, the "king" golem, is initially sent to work in a candle factory.

Vetinari is successfully poisoned, making him severely ill. Meshugah, however, due to being improperly baked and "overloaded" by all the different instructions his creators gave him, goes "mad": he starts overworking and, when he exhausts raw materials, he rampages through the city, and goes on to murder the priest and baker who took part in his creation.

With the assistance of their new forensics expert dwarf Cheery Littlebottom (who gradually comes out as female over the course of the novel), Commander Vimes and Captain Carrot slowly unravel the mystery.

In the end, Vetinari has recovered completely, Dorfl is sworn in as a Watchman (to the chagrin of Ankh-Morpork's theological establishment), Vimes gets a pay raise, the Watch House gets a new dartboard, and Nobbs keeps secret his ownership of other heirlooms which could well prove his claim to the earldom.

Publishers Weekly described the book as "fantasy served with a twist of Monty Python, parody that works by never taking itself too seriously", with "sly puns" and "lively, outrageous characters".