Kalonji was born April 13, 1953, in Chicago, Illinois to journalist parents and, after the age of seven, grew up moving between India, Hong Kong, Thailand, and East Africa.
She was kicked out of school twice in Hong Kong during the 1967 leftist riots in which she participated in the siege of the U.S. embassy and protests against the Vietnam War.
She was also kicked out of school in east Africa and eventually began working in metallurgy and learned practical skills in welding, milling, turning, elementary design, and drafting.
After meeting Julia McCormick, the admissions director at MIT, Kalonji began undergraduate coursework at Massachusetts Institute of Technology in February 1979.
Kalonji and Willard Johnson, a professor of political science and one of the founders of TransAfrica, organized a faculty disinvestment from South Africa campaign, led demonstrations, and facilitated staff meetings.
Several years later, the lawsuit was settled with undisclosed payments and the establishment of a project to encourage women and minorities to seek faculty positions.
She resided in downtown San Francisco with her partner of more than ten years, Denice Denton, a professor of electrical engineering and academic administrator.