When an exchange of personnel is mooted, the platoon decides to take drastic action: some dye their hair, others enrich their skin, Sergeant Wilson dons a corset and Captain Mainwaring a toupée.
Mainwaring is appalled at the idea of losing his men and having members of Chief Warden Hodges' "rabble" in his platoon, but Wilson points out everyone is at risk.
Upon learning of this, Jones and Godfrey visit Frazer's funeral parlour late one night and tell him that "If any of the platoon are going to be put in the ARP, it'll be us three cause we're the oldest."
In the meantime, Hodges is also worried of being put into the Home Guard so he purchases some grey "hair dye" courtesy of Walker, which is actually white ceiling paint mixed with gum arabic.
After the inspection, in which none of the Home Guard members were selected to join the ARP, Mainwaring is stunned when Colonel Pritchard quietly congratulates him for once again demonstrating initiative in a crisis, adding that he did not see anything.