It was first performed at 'The Playroom', an L-shaped space in St Edwards Passage that belonged to Corpus Christi College, Cambridge.

The title derives from Christopher Marlowe's claim, reported by Richard Baines, that "All they that love not Tobacco and Boys are fools".

Dominic addresses the students (played by the audience), and after yelling at them, starts teaching, until Brookshaw enters.

Brookshaw says that he won't tell anyone about the illicit affair if Dominic sends all of his naughty students to Brookshaw himself, instead of to the headmaster, to be beaten; and secondly, if Dominic will beat him for two days a week with a wet towel and other curious objects.

When the students' Common Entrance Examination results are announced, Cartwright's score is curiously high amidst the general mediocrity of the class, and Brookshaw recognises that Cartwright's test paper has been corrected by Dominic.

He reads a letter to the assembly from "Ghanim Ibn Mahmud" and "Abu Hassan Basim", Arabic names adopted by Dominic and Cartwright.

[5] Then, if the boy does very well in all fields, and shows "initiative far beyond his age",[6] he gets a star, worth 25 points, and a 5-pound "tuck token".