Never Mind the Quality Feel the Width is a 1973 British comedy film directed by Ronnie Baxter and starring John Bluthal, Joe Lynch, Yootha Joyce, Wendy King and Bernard Stone.

[4] The role of Rita was played by singing ukulele player and Opportunity Knocks winner Wendy King, whose 1971 album "Ukelele Girl" can be spotted in Mrs. Finch's travel shop window.

In the course of the film, Manny and Patrick hire a sexy new assistant Rita, seriously fall out after a gambling incident, experience woman trouble, find themselves burgled, and eventually end up on holiday in Rome after posing as priests.

Its weak storyline (centred on Manny's dream of a trip to Israel) principally provides an excuse for a number of self-contained sketches: the clichéd funeral sequence in which the hearse rolls away and comes to rest on the river bank as the coffin slides into the water; or the genuinely funny sequence in the stonemason's yard from which Manny has ordered a statue of the Virgin Mary to replace one he's accidentally broken, with Bill Maynard's down-toearth mason providing an amusing contrast to the pomp of the surrounding monuments and tombstones.

The film's faltering plot is bolstered by its heavy reliance on Irish and Jewish caricatures: Patrick drinks Guinness, plays the horses and keeps a picture of the Pope up on the wall, while Manny prefers to keep one eye on his cash-box and one on his giant photo of Moshe Dayan.