[2] When used positively, and particularly when used as a preference or description by someone else, it is intended to imply a man who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, provides emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others.
[4] However, the term is also often used sarcastically, particularly in the context of dating,[1] to describe someone who believes himself to possess genuine "nice guy" characteristics, even though he actually does not, and who uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the ulterior aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.
"[8] The "bad boys" were divided into two categories, "as either confident, attractive, sexy, and exciting or as manipulative, unfaithful, disrespectful of women, and interested only in sex".
[14] Herold and Milhausen (1999) found that women are more likely to report wanting a nice guy but do not choose them in their real dating life.
"Nice Todd" described a "real man" as "in touch with his feelings", kind and attentive, non-macho, and interested in putting his partner's pleasure first.
It was found that there was a stronger correlation between a woman’s perceived positive traits in the man than in her goals for the dating relationship, both of which were measured in the questionnaire.
Because they could not see the men and only had information to use, McDaniel found that this may suggest that women romanticize the idea of a nice/sweet guy, but often do not choose him because in reality he is likely to be less attractive than a so-called "jerk".
[19] A 2008 study at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces showed that "nice guys" report having significantly fewer sexual partners than "bad boys".
This study used a series of matched descriptions where each male was presented in a generous or a control version which differed only in whether the man tended to help others.
They found a correlation between a man's number of sexual partners, and the traits of sensation-seeking, hypermasculinity, physical attractiveness, and testosterone levels.
[25] Botwin, Buss and Shackelford (1997) found that women had a higher preference for surgency and dominance in their mates than men did, in a study of dating couples and newlyweds.
[26] Ahmetoglu and Swami (2012) found that men were rated to be more attractive if women perceived them as more dominant, represented in the study by open body posture and gesticulation.
[28][29] The original quote by Durocher was, "The nice guys are all over there, in seventh place" (6 July 1946),[28][30] when referring to the 1946 New York Giants, who were the Dodger's rivals.
[33] Simplistically, the term "nice guy" could be an adjectival phrase describing what appears to be a friendly, kind, or courteous man.
The "nice guys finish last" phrase is also said to be coined by American biologist Garrett Hardin, to sum up the selfish gene theory of life and evolution.
Stephan Desrochers claims, in a 1995 article in the journal Sex Roles, that many "sensitive" men, based on their own personal experience, do not believe women actually want "nice guys".
[36] Herold and Milhausen[37] found in a 1999 study of 165 university women that 56% claimed to agree with the statement: "You may have heard the expression, 'Nice guys finish last.'
The study also found that "while 'nice guys' may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships.
[37] Further evidence appears in a 2005 study in Prague: "Since women can always get a man for a one-night stand, they gain an advantage if they find partners for child-rearing.
From said courting, the "nice guy" may hope to form a romantic relationship or may be motivated by a simple desire to increase his sexual activity.
Third-wave feminist interpretations tend to see this resentment as being based upon an assumption by men that they are entitled to sex, and are therefore confused when they find that it is not forthcoming, despite their supposed "niceness".
According to journalist Paris Martineau, in 2018, the incel and red pill movements, part of the anti-feminist manosphere, recruit depressed, frustrated men – who may suffer from "nice guy syndrome" – into the alt-right.