Miai
[1][2] The practice of omiai emerged in 16th century Japan among the samurai classes, with the intention to form and protect strong military alliances among warlords to ensure mutual support.
[9] Historically, omiai signified that the parties were brought together expressly for the purpose of marriage on the initiative of the parents, a friend of the family, or a go-between.
[14] In more selective omiai, the candidates and their families were judged on a larger set of criteria aimed at determining the suitability and the balance of the marriage.
The fear was so prevalent that the Eugenic Protection Law of 1948 was passed to legalize sterilization and abortion for people with a history of mental defects and other hereditary diseases.
[14] Historically, omiai marriage was criticized for promoting patriarchal relationships with traditional power structures and distinct divisions of labor between males and females.
In rural areas, a common investigative method was to personally ask about the family of interest by questioning shopkeepers and neighbors through kuchikiki ("inquiry of mouth").
If the potential couple chose to marry, they went through a formal marriage process known as miai kekkon (見合い結婚),[16] in which a betrothal ceremony (結納, yuinō) was arranged by the groom's family.
[13] The most widespread discrimination is against members of the burakumin, the descendants of workers traditionally associated with trades involving blood, death, or uncleanness, such as leather-workers, shoe-menders, and butchers, since shoes were too dirty to be taken into the house, and meat was in the past forbidden by the Buddhist faith.
[19] Today, burakumin members may be identified by the region of the city where they live or by their street address,[14] though it is getting increasingly rare and Japanese people's views on shoes and beef among other things have changed significantly.
Descendants of people who were exposed to the radiation from the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were also avoided due to perceptions regarding possible child deformities and susceptibilities to rare diseases.
The second role, which is increasingly less common in modern Japan, is as a liaison for the families to avoid direct confrontation and differences in opinions between them by serving as an intermediary for working out the details of the marriage.
One example is Wedding Bells, a panel type game show which ran from 1993 to 1997 in Japan on TBS, that substituted for the role of the nakōdo in which contestants were introduced and screened for marriage possibility.
Historically, the initiative for the omiai introductions often came from the parents who felt that their son or daughter was of a marriageable age (tekireiki), usually in the range of 22 to 30, but had shown little or no interest in seeking a partner on their own.
Most commonly now, the decision to contact a marriage agency comes directly from the person who seeks a partner, and it is usually due to their lack of opportunity to meet a suitable spouse.
In exceptional circumstances, though growing increasingly rare now, some parents send a candidacy picture to a future husband or go-between without their daughter's knowledge or consent.
[17] In general now, though, marriage agencies performing omiai duties only discuss introductions and registration with their clients directly, thus removing involvement of parents entirely in many cases.
[15] In 1995, women were reported as more inclined to seek a romantic relationship than men, with the inculturation of Western ideals of true love, followed by marital and domestic bliss, at times seen as the cause for the discrepancy.
Women in Japan were historically raised with the expectation that they may only find satisfaction within the home as wives and mothers, with later generations more likely to place greater emphasis on the less traditional ideals of romantic love.
[14] Despite this, the number of Japanese women pursuing careers and other avenues of fulfillment has increased, resulting in a falling rate of marriages within Japan.
[14] A newer expression replaces Christmas cake with toshikoshisoba, a dish of noodles to see out the year on the 31st,[15] thus creating motivation for Japanese women after the age of 25 to seek help in the form of omiai introductions from a marriage agency.
Previously, a man who was not married by his 30s was considered untrustworthy by colleagues and employers, who believed that such men have not been conditioned to learn the fundamental principles of co-operation and responsibility.
In China, 82% of first-tier-city dwellers had experienced xiangqin, primarily due to parental pressure and a lack of opportunity to meet people of the opposite sex.
Historical records began to document instances of this practice, with 劉邦, the founding emperor of the Han dynasty, being personally chosen as a son-in-law by 呂雉’s father, 呂公.
