In the past and until today in more conservative Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner.
Both sides (usually the parents, close relatives or friends of the persons involved, and the singles themselves) make inquiries about the prospective partner (e.g., on his/her character, intelligence, level of learning, financial status, family and health status, appearance, and level of religious observance).
Those who support marriage by shidduch believe that it complies with traditional Judaism's outlook on Tzniut, modest behaviour in relations between men and women,[1][4] and prevents promiscuity.
It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage partners is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates.
[16] The first recorded shidduch in the Torah was the match that Eliezer, the servant of the Jewish patriarch Abraham, made for his master's son Isaac (Genesis Ch.
Regardless of whether proper procedure is followed, this is not the end of the decision—it is believed by Jews that the final say belongs to God, who may have different plans (compare with the match of Jacob and Leah).
The Talmud (Bavli Kiddushin 12a, first version) states that academy head Abba Arikha would give corporal punishment to a man who would marry without shidduchin, that is,[17] without prearrangement by the couple.
The medieval rabbi Nissim of Gerona (commonly called Ran) traces it to the Aramaic word for "calm" (cf.
Targum to the Book of Judges 5:31), and elaborates that the main purpose of the shidduch process is for young people to "settle down" into marriage.
The word shadchan refers to people who carry out shidduchim as a profession within the religious Jewish community.
[24] Shadchanus[25] (שדכנות) is the money (Yiddish: געלט, gelt) paid to the party/parties[26] who brokered a successful pairing.
It is a brokerage fee, not a gift, and can't be paid from funds intended for charity (מַעֲשֵׂר maaser).
When a shidduch is suggested, the candidates can phone the organisation, enter both their PINs, and find out whether their union could result in critically disabled children.
Although the implementation has been controversial, there has been a sharp decrease in the number of children born with Tay–Sachs disease and other genetic disorders since its inception.