List of David Letterman sketches
CBS's Late Show with David Letterman regularly featured different sketches which followed the monologue and preceded interviews with guests.
Often they were repeated absurdist segments involving various cast members, Letterman's friends, audience participation, edited or contrived news or promotional videos, or competitions and stunts staged outside the Ed Sullivan Theater in Manhattan, New York.
The show's regularly scheduled segments consisted of "Small Town News" on Mondays and "Fun Facts" on Fridays.
There were also running gags which often continued for about a month like playing José Feliciano's "Old Turkey Buzzard" or other sound effects when a card "crashes through the window", telephone calls from "Len Easton, California Highway Patrol", or Joe McCain on a telephone which Letterman acknowledges is a prop that is not connected.
While Letterman himself often participated in many of the show's non-"desk comedy" routines in its earlier years (as well as on Late Night), over time he increasingly preferred to have others star in them instead.
Kalter, bandleader and sidekick Paul Shaffer, and Hello Deli proprietor Rupert Jee were often used instead in comedy routines, as was stage manager Biff Henderson, stagehands Pat Farmer and Kenny Sheehan, handyman George Clarke, "cue card boy" Tony Mendez, head carpenter Harold Larkin, cameraman Dave Dorsett, assistant Stephanie Birkitt, former writers Gerard Mulligan and Chris Elliott (who almost always appeared together), and Johnny Dark (a personal comedy friend of Letterman's).
Larry "Bud" Melman), and scenic designer Kathleen Ankers (reprising her Late Night role of "Peggy, the Foulmouthed Chambermaid"; on CBS, she was the equally censored "Helen, the Ill-tempered Ticket Lady").
Random cameo appearances were made during the span of the show, most notably in the earlier years by Tony Randall, with Regis Philbin later filling that void.
For a while, Letterman took great delight in making fun of his employer, continuing a tradition established at NBC, with senior CBS Corporation executive Les Moonves often serving as the target of his ire.
Announcer Alan Kalter was frequently used in comedy bits, often with Kalter being the butt of the joke: When Letterman left NBC and moved to CBS to begin the Late Show in the summer of 1993, several of Late Night's long-running comedy bits made the move with him including perhaps his best known, the Top Ten List.
Letterman renamed a few of his regular bits to avoid legal problems over trademark infringement (NBC claimed that what he did on Late Night was "intellectual property" of the network).
For example, "Viewer Mail" on NBC became the "CBS Mailbag", and Larry "Bud" Melman began to use his real name, Calvert DeForest.
One recurring sketch on both the NBC and CBS shows has been the destruction of household items by various methods including explosives, steamrollers, and-most often-throwing them off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
There were various Home Offices before the bit was dropped, but the list included Sioux City, Iowa; Grand Rapids, Michigan; and Wahoo, Nebraska-all actual, extant towns.
For example Letterman may announce that the Top Ten List is coming up, or Kalter will promote it before the first commercial, when, in fact, it is not delivered on that night's show and is instead held until the next morning, when it is broadcast across Westwood One/CBS Radio Network.
The third excerpt featured President George W. Bush in an unintentionally comical moment, often during press conferences or town hall gatherings.
The moments frequently focused on President Bush stuttering, finding himself at a loss for words, or uttering a nonsensical Bushism.
George Washington's, Abraham Lincoln's, Roosevelt's, and Kennedy's portraits were shown in the graphic at the beginning and end of "Great Moments."
The staffers included announcer Alan Kalter, "cue card boy" Tony "Inky" Mendez (who showed cue cards to President Kennedy), costume designer Susan Hum (whose actions included taking his picture with a disposable camera, removing lint from his shoulder, stealing his wallet, and eating a jumbo pretzel), associate producer Nancy Agostini, and stage manager Biff Henderson.
In this segment, the stage curtain is raised to reveal an individual or team performing an unusual stunt, often accompanied by music from the CBS Orchestra.
As the segment continued over the course of time, Letterman would increasingly express disinterest in the featured performer, opting instead to admire the Grinder Girl.
In an uncharacteristic move, Letterman invited Sharon Osbourne to assist in officiating Is This Anything on the July 26, 2007 episode, due to her involvement with America's Got Talent.
Each game starts with Letterman making small talk with each of the featured audience members, asking about their background and occupations, often with humorous results.
The segment often begins with Letterman presenting a few real facts to set up the premise (although they are often of a humorous nature in their own right and are mistaken by some audience members as made-up).
Johnny Dark has appeared, under various names, as the contestant, in which case the routine consists of him asking so many questions that there is no time for the game itself.
Since returning from the hiatus caused by the 2007–08 Writers Guild of America strike, however these segments later featured a Kalter voice-over promoting future guests, concluded by a phrase such as "Get your VCRs ready!"
During the mid-1990s a frequent Late Show routine was The Quiz Machine, a large device wheeled out onto the stage, which progressively got bigger and more advanced as weeks went on.
The Quiz Machine contained answers to questions that Letterman had on his note cards, and would be revealed by contestants pushing buttons or pulling levers.
In a notable appearance by Bill Gates, dressed in lab coat and hard hat, he joked that if Microsoft would have invented a machine this bad, he would have it recalled.
