She studied electronics at Newcastle Polytechnic (now the Northumbria University), graduating with a Bachelor of Science degree.

[1][2] Gray joined the Engineer Branch of the Women's Royal Air Force (WRAF) in 1985.

[4] In 1991, she was deployed with the Support Helicopter Force to Iraq as part of the Gulf War.

[5] She is the second female officer to be promoted to non-honorary two-star rank (major general in the British Army, rear admiral in the Royal Navy or air vice marshal in the Royal Air Force) in the British Armed Forces since the Second World War; the first was Elaine West who had been promoted to air vice-marshal in August 2013.

[12] Gray was appointed Companion of the Order of the Bath (CB) in the 2017 New Year Honours,[13] and was elected a Fellow of the Royal Academy of Engineering.

[18][19] She was appointed Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire (DBE) in the 2022 New Year Honours.