"Tender When I Want to Be" is a song written and recorded by American country music artist Mary Chapin Carpenter.

The song reached number 6 on the Billboard Hot Country Singles & Tracks chart in February 1995.

[1] Deborah Evans Price, of Billboard magazine reviewed the song favorably, calling it a "think-while-you-dance pop/country tune about grown-up emotions."

She goes on to say that Carpenter continues to "light up country radio with incisive, intelligent lyrics and a talent for creating just the right melody.

"[2] The music video was directed by Michael Salomon and premiered in early 1995.