The article titled "A Bouquet of Lovers" written by Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart and first published in Green Egg Magazine (Spring 1990), is widely cited as the original source of the word.
[5][6] The word polyamory has been applied to the practice or lifestyle of maximally inclusive romantic intimate relationships, with full knowledge and consent by all partners involved.
The term is sometimes socially abbreviated to poly or polyam, especially as a form of self-description, and has often times included ethical non-monogamy (ENM).
alt.polyamory participants collaborated on a FAQ (frequently asked questions) post that was updated periodically, and included the group's definition of "polyamory".
This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved, but you needn't wear yourself out trying to figure out ways to fit fondness for apple pie, or filial piety, or a passion for the Saint Paul Saints baseball club into it.
Some people think the definition is a bit loose, but it's got to be fairly roomy to fit the wide range of poly arrangements out there.
Her definition was: The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.
That is, it is expected that the people in such relationships have a loving emotional bond, are involved in each other's lives multi-dimensionally, and care for each other.
Polyamory involves multiple consensual, loving relationships (or openness to such), and there is a resistance within the polyamorous community to defining it in any fixed manner.
[citation needed] Whether such a person identifies as "polyamorous", or as a swinger, or uses some other term, depends on the attitude of the individual.
The exact distinctions between these categories of relationship vary depending on the speaker, but primary usually refers to a "marriage-like" relationship in terms of living arrangements, finances, commitment or child-rearing (legal marriage or domestic partnership may or may not be involved); while secondary usually implies less of these aspects, and tertiary (which is much less used) would be still less involved or more casual.
(Of course, this is in addition to any other terms a person might use, such as "husband", "wife", "other half", "lover", "casual date", "boyfriend", "girlfriend", "joyfriend", and so on.)
Some polyamorous individuals avoid using "primary"/"secondary" descriptions, believing that all partners should be considered equally important.
People in intimate networks may or may not explicitly label relationships primary or secondary, and hierarchies may be fluid and vague or nonexistent.