Written as a critique of British education and corporal punishment, "The Headmaster Ritual" features a jangling guitar line with inspirations as diverse as the Beatles, Joni Mitchell, and MC5.

"The Headmaster Ritual" was written as a criticism of the English education system, citing the 'belligerent ghouls' who ran Manchester schools.

The cover art for the single, chosen by Morrissey, features a black-and-white image of a child dressed as a cowboy from the 1965 film The Uncle.

"[7] The song's lyrics attracted controversy upon release, with the incumbent headmaster of Morrissey's alma mater interviewing with UK tabloids.

[8] Pitchfork spoke glowingly of the song, writing "When [Meat Is Murder] good, it's great: 'The Headmaster Ritual', especially, is full of chills-down-the-spine moments from Morrissey (the wordless, yodeling chorus that rhymes with 'I want to go home/ I don't want to stay,' the second verse's thrilling deviations from the first)" and commenting, "It's safe to say that nobody else, before or since, has opened a significant rock album by hammering the bejesus out of the capoed, open-tuned chord that begins 'The Headmaster Ritual'.

It's echoed in the tremolo effect Morrissey's vocals achieve in the chorus, which sounds halfway between a yodel and a cry for help.

[1] Singer and Smiths collaborator Kirsty MacColl praised the song in a 1992 interview, stating, "'The Headmaster Ritual' is just so good.

"[10] Colin Meloy of the Decemberists said of the song, "The brute in 'The Headmaster Ritual' was [to me] my mustached, short-shorted gym teacher Mr.