Suddenly, a drunken Santa bursts in with a rifle in his hand, and covered with ammunition "like a big, fat, drunk, disgruntled Yuletide Rambo".

He proceeds to destroy half of the North Pole, hold the elves and helpers hostage, and kill most of his reindeer in various graphic, sadistic ways.

In the original epilogue, the singer explains to Virginia that Santa was arrested and locked up in a federal prison, with the possibility of release for good behavior in 700 years, Meanwhile, the two surviving reindeer, Vixen and Donner, are coping with post-traumatic stress disorder, the elves get jobs working for the postal service, and Mrs. Claus negotiates film rights for the incident.

In the Extra Gory Version of the song, it is instead stated that Santa is killed by a SWAT officer, and with Christmas having effectively been ended altogether, the elves file for unemployment benefits.

[5] In this version, Vixen and Donner are not mentioned (leaving their fate ambiguous), Santa is killed by a member of the SWAT team, and the elves file for unemployment benefits.