Them or Us is an album by American musician Frank Zappa, released in October 1984 by Barking Pumpkin Records.

"Now, the name of this album is Them or Us, and in America, as far as I'm concerned, it means US, the Pagans, versus THEM, those hideous Christians.

Its opening and closing songs were not written by Zappa: "The Closer You Are", was written by Earl Lewis and Morgan Robinson and originally released by the Channels; and "Whippin' Post", originally performed by the Allman Brothers Band.

"Planet of My Dreams" (featuring Bob Harris on vocals) is a 1981 studio recording taken from the score of Zappa's unrealized 1972 stage musical Hunchentoot (other titles from this show appear on the first-CD edition of the Sleep Dirt reissue from 1991).

[5] Zappa wrote a "warning" which appeared on the inner sleeves of these albums, as well as Frank Zappa Meets the Mothers of Prevention (1985), which stated that the albums contained content "which a truly free society would neither fear nor suppress", and a "guarantee" which stated that the lyrics would not "cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business.