Cole was brought up in the John household at Fryern Court, Fordingbridge, from the age of 18 months, partly by his mother, and then later by Dorelia McNeill.

He married Diana Crosby Cook in 1962 and they had two children, including a son, London fine art dealer Cassian de Vere Cole (born 1966).

[5] He lives in Sutton Scotney, not far from his partner Anne Stow, eldest grandchild of Neville Chamberlain, a former prime minister, whose wife was a sister of Horace de Vere Cole.

[12] After his return to civilian life, Cole worked at the Bristol Old Vic as assistant stage manager and actor,[13] before moving on to a career with BBC television.

[citation needed] In May 2024 it was reported that Cole had written the screenplay for the adventure thriller Storm Witch, an independent U.K./Ireland co-production, to be directed by David Blair and starring British actress Gemma Arterton.