Produced under the direction of Mr. James Welch The play is set in a seaside town and tells the story of Mrs Clandon and her three children, Dolly, Phillip and Gloria, who have just returned to England after an eighteen-year stay in Madeira.

The play continues with a comedy of errors and confused identities, with the friendly and wise waiter, Walter (most commonly referred to by the characters as "William," because Dolly thinks he resembles Shakespeare), dispensing his wisdom with the titular phrase "You Never Can Tell."

'You Never Can Tell' aired on 'BBC Play of the Month' on October 30, 1977, with Robert Powell as Dr Valentine, Judy Parfitt as Mrs. Clandon and Cyril Cusack as the Waiter[1]· The BBC broadcast a production on 31 July 1971 starring Freddie Jones as William the Waiter, Prunella Scales as Gloria Clandon, Denys Hawthorne as Valentine, Godfrey Kenton as Mr. Crampton, Jo Manning Wilson as Dolly, Lockwood West as Mr. McComas and Nigel Anthony as Philip.

[2] The CBC broadcast a production in 1973 with Frances Hyland as Mrs. Clandon, Tony Van Bridge as Mr. Crampton, Chris Wiggins as William the Waiter, Maureen Fitzgerald as Gloria, Drew Russell as Valentine and William Osler as Mr. Bohun.

Another BBC production was broadcast on 29 September 2013 directed by Martin Jarvis and starring Ian Ogilvy as William the Waiter, Jamie Bamber as Valentine, Christopher Neame as Mr. Crampton, Moira Quirk as Dolly, Adam Godley as Mr. McComas and Rosalind Ayres as Mrs Clandon.