"You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk" is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, released on 3 January 2000 as the third and final single from their seventh studio album, Nightlife (1999).

It reached number eight on the UK Singles Chart but failed to chart in the United States.

All live tracks were recorded at the Aerial Theater in Houston, Texas, on 25 October 1999.