"7 Year Bitch" is a song by English rock band Slade, released in 1985 as the second single from their twelfth studio album, Rogues Gallery.

[10] Phil Murphy of The Journal praised it as a "roistering gem of a mindless, chart bound single" and added, "[It's] virtually impossible to dislike this one.

"[11] Radio Luxembourg DJ Mike Hollis, writing for the Daily Mirror, described the song as a "good follow-up" to "All Join Hands" and believed the band "should make it again with this one".

"[12] The Fife Free Press praised it as an "immensely enjoyable singalong anthem" and a "real toe-tapper of a single destined for a high chart position".

[13] Frank Edmonds of the Bury Free Press gave the single a 6 out of 10 rating and wrote, "One of those infuriating songs which you hear and think: 'AAAAAAARRGGHH!

"[14] Frank Hopkinson of Number One commented, "Those lovable old singalong merchants, heavy metal's answer to Black Lace, have been out robbing graves again.

I mean, Slade, Alvin Stardust and Wizzard were all very well in their day, but rather than being content to retire gracefully, they insist on becoming dodgy cabaret artists and releasing horribly jolly sing-a-long thingies like this.

considered "7 Year Bitch" to be "a barely listenable rip-off of 'All Join Hands' which ripped off 'My Oh My', which stole liberally from 'Everyday'" and concluded, "Much as I love Slade, this sucks an almighty limp one.