"Be My Guest" is a science fiction short story by American writer Damon Knight.

Kipling "Kip" Morgan takes his on-off girlfriend Anjelica McTavish back to his apartment after despondently sitting through the funeral of his friend and mentor, the biochemist George Liebert.

She has redecorated the apartment and the pro shop storeroom on the theme of love, with whatever materials were handy, including paint.

He started studying law, then switched to science, where he did well until a mysterious psychosomatic affliction stopped him cold.

He dropped out and held a series of outdoor jobs, ending up as a golf pro at a local course.

He is violently sick, and realizes that Nancy has spiked the juice with a vitamin that her father isolated from pigs.

He begins to believe that all the different phases of his life had something to do with the spirits that inhabited him, starting with a set he must have inherited when his uncle, a lawyer, died suddenly at his home.

He wanders through the seedy parts of town, until he overhears a message passed through one of the local storefront mediums.

Nancy has a set consisting of two rabid prudes and two sluts, explaining her erratic behavior.

Finally Kip works out that the system must be run by old spirits who, naturally, would have the best and most desirable hosts, the kind of people who seem to lead charmed lives and enjoy infinite privilege.