A disco-pop tune driven by upbeat guitar and synthesizer instrumentation, "Beach House" explores the uncertain and troubling side of finding love in dating apps, inspired by a displeasing experience.

"Beach House" received generally positive reviews from critics, many of whom praised it for what they deemed catchy and playful lyrics and an engaging production.

Feeling displeased but also reinvigorated, Jepsen brought the song to a studio session with Alex Hope and Nate Cyphert the next day: "I've got a concept!

[4][8][15] The song includes a group of male backing vocalists to sing "I got a beach house in Malibu and I'm probably gonna hurt your feelings".

[24] "Beach House" received generally positive reviews—many critics such as Jodi Guglielmi of Rolling Stone and Sam Franzini of The Line of Best Fit deemed the song catchy and playful.

[22] Time Out placed "Beach House" at number 11 in their year-end list of the 22 best songs of 2022, with Phil de Semlyen describing the track as a "zippy, witty, stupidly catchy takedown of terrible dates".

[26] Piatkowski lauded the "mordant comedy" of "Beach House" and said that the song "doesn't feel like a novelty tune" due to the songwriting and production quality.

[17] Heather Phares of AllMusic wrote that the track was the most surprising from The Loneliest Time and that it encapsulated "the wasteland of dating in the early 2020s with humor, horror, and just a bit of cynicism".

[27] The Rolling Stone writer Rob Sheffield described the song as a "deliciously nasty tour of serial monogamy in the era of dating-app addiction".

[29] A few of them also found emotional nuance within the lyrics: Zoladz noted that "Beach House" effectively showcased themes of yearning for a romantic relationship,[22] while Piatkowski perceived a sense of "weariness and stoic familiarity" to it.

[17] On less positive reviews, Pitchfork's Olivia Horn felt that the track was "corny and dated" and too derivative for Jepsen, but she believed that it was an attempt to "diversify her portfolio".

[30] Gem Stokes of Clash wrote that the song was witty and a "definitive bop", but found it to be a "superficial" outlier compared to the rest of the album.