Chance Meeting on a Dissecting Table of a Sewing Machine and an Umbrella is the debut album by British industrial music group Nurse With Wound, released on their own United Dairies label in 1979.

He is as handsome as the retractility of the claws in birds of prey; or, again, as the unpredictability of muscular movement in sores in the soft spot of the posterior cervical region; or, rather, as the perpetual motion rat-trap which is always reset by the trapped animal and which can go on catching rodents indefinitely and works even when it is hidden under straw; and, above all, as the chance juxtaposition of a sewing machine and an umbrella on a dissecting table!The album came about when Steven Stapleton was working as a signwriter in London in 1978.

Thus, the first line-up of Nurse With Wound (whose name supposedly relates to a scene in the film Battleship Potemkin) was quickly assembled, Stapleton on percussion, Fothergill on guitar (with built-in ring modulator) and Pathak on organ.

The trio didn't have a chance to rehearse before entering the studio, yet the album was completed within 6 hours, with Rogers adding what was called "commercial guitar" on the sleeve.

The tale is so fortuitous as to appear unlikely but Stapleton and Fothergill agreed on the story when interviewed separately by David Keenan for his book England's Hidden Reverse.

The 2001 reissue of the album contains the bonus track "Strain, Crack, Break", which consists of a heavily cut-up recording of David Tibet reading the list.

The staff called the album "[t]he key document in the development of the British underground, and the cornerstone for all subsequent outsider forays into 'electric experimental music'," further describing it as "[a] monstrous trawl through twilight sounds, where bellowing, scraping avant garde composition met Krautrock's expansive pummel.