During his administration, she often acted as unofficial First Lady when her mother was ill. Hay was "primarily remembered for her domineering style and insistence that every iota of protocol be followed.

"[6][7] Louisa Adams described her as "so accomplished and ill bred", "so proud and mean" and as having "such a love for scandal that no reputation is safe in her hands".

[1] In the book Executive Privilege: Two Centuries of White House Scandals, writer Jack Mitchell refers to Hay as a snob and "a bit of a society bitch.

[9] Hortense, by then Queen Consort of the Netherlands, would send Hortensia presents, including oil portraits of herself, her brother Eugene, and Henriette Campan.

[10] The friendship with Hortense did not afford Hay an invitation to a ball at Caroline Bonaparte's Château de Neuilly, as "the sister of an Emperor could not be expected to receive the daughter of an honest republican.