Below are a few potential causes of the fear of commitment in long term relationships: Attachment insecurity is defined by inadequate and ambivalent caregiving during infancy.
Such experiences are highly likely to result in the development of insecure attachment styles, which encompass the ways individuals engage with others in intimate relationships.
Stemming directly from a dismissive upbringing, where children learned that intimate relationships and significant others are unreliable, closeness and reassurance in interpersonal interactions is generally avoided by them.
The fear of commitment in long-term relationships or marriage manifests as individuals harbour concerns that their potential partners may resemble the unreliable caregivers from their childhood, exemplifying the lasting impact of their early attachment experiences.
They might become hesitant to invest emotionally in new relationships, fearing that their partner won't reciprocate the same level of commitment or may betray their trust.
[11] When faced with the prospect of commitment, individuals may find themselves contending with past fears - a phenomenon intricately connected to their earlier encounters.
This is rooted in the belief that they are inadequately equipped to fulfill the needs of their partner, leading to a lack of confidence in sustaining a positive, healthy, and long-lasting relationship.
[13] The resultant diminished commitment fosters an unfavorable conclusion to the relationship, thus establishing a cyclical pattern wherein this experience becomes a distressing component of their past, negatively reinforcing their fear and intensifying the phobia.
This stems from the fact that divorced parents often hold more pessimistic attitudes toward marriage, expressing low optimism regarding the feasibility of enduring relationships and healthy marital state.
[14] Children of such parents inevitably absorb these irrational perspectives, forming a biased foundational belief during childhood that couples lack the capacity to surmount conflicts.