[2] The lyrics tell of an elderly rake who "slyly inveigles" an attractive girl of 17 to his flat to view his collection of stamps, where he offers her a glass of Madeira, a fortified Portuguese wine.

The girl enthusiastically drains her glass, becoming slightly drunk in the process.

However, before raising it to her lips, she recalls her dying mother's warning to avoid red wine.

With a cry, the girl drops the glass and flees the apartment, the old roué's pleas for her to remain echoing in her ears.

The song contains three much-quoted instances of zeugma:[3][4] The lyrics were recited as a poem by Tony Randall in episode #922 of The Carol Burnett Show which first aired February 21, 1976.