"He's on the Beach" is a song by British singer-songwriter Kirsty MacColl, released on 10 June 1985 as a non-album single by Stiff Records.

"[5] Although MacColl's previous single "A New England" reached the UK top ten earlier in the year, "He's on the Beach" did not repeat the same commercial success.

[8][9] After its failure, MacColl primarily worked as a session backing singer and also recorded the UK number two hit "Fairytale of New York" with The Pogues in 1987.

[14][5] On its release, Graham K. Smith of Record Mirror wrote, "All [MacColl's] usual ingredients are here - sometime bittersweet but ultimately optimistic lyric, hefty, pacey backbeat, just the right amount of memorable jangling and those trebly harmonised vocals.

"[17] Dave Henderson of Sounds stated, "So, if Billy Bragg won't write a song for you, just run the backing track and change the words.

"[18] Jerry Smith of Music Week wrote, "Bright summery guitars and distinctive Kirsty vocals mark this driving pop song.

"[20] Frank Edmonds of the Bury Free Press gave the song a 6 out of 10 rating and stated, "This sounds almost exactly like "A New England" - the only difference being it doesn't have Bragg's masterful lyrics.

"[26] In 2017, Kevin Wuench of the Tampa Bay Times commented: "The single did not chart even if her home country, but that doesn't diminish the great pop song and its scenic video.