"I'm in Marsport Without Hilda" is a science fiction short story by American writer Isaac Asimov.
The story first appeared in the November 1957 issue of Venture Science Fiction Magazine, and was reprinted in the collection Nine Tomorrows in 1959, in a bowdlerized version.
All three men appear to be in the inebriated, free-association state which regular Spaceoline produces, but since the actual criminal cannot afford to impair his own judgment, he must be faking.
Growing ever more desperate as his time runs out, Max starts describing his planned evening with Flora in graphic detail.
Max manages to convince his overjoyed supervisor to give him a substantial monetary bonus in return for his service, which he uses to smooth over the problems between himself and Flora that arose when he had to postpone their date.