It argues that this parenting style prevents them from developing independence and resilience as adults and can negatively impact their mental health.

[10][1] A review in the Chicago Tribune said: "Her deep compassion for the young people enduring the endemic stress of [the college admissions] process shines through and her advice about broadening the mindset of applicants — and parents — is solid.

But this is the weakest part of a strong book, with the author at times relying more on opinion than fact when it comes to the specifics of college admission, such as testing.

Lythcott-Haims' advice is most valuable when it gets down to the brass tacks of how to cultivate a parenting style that produces a resilient, resourceful grownup.

[12] Her father was a prominent African American physician, her mother white and British, and she was the only non-white student in her high school graduating class.

[12] The New York Times review said: “Her feelings metamorphose into palpable anger and resentment as she reaches adulthood, and she finally begins to grasp the perversity of a system that tries to undermine Black Americans from the moment they arrive in the world.” The reviewer said Real American takes the reader on a journey from the author's initial feelings of self-loathing because of her racial makeup to a sense of self-worth.

“By allowing us to witness a woman coming to terms with herself, and finding nothing but pride and love there, she offers a blueprint for how others might try to do the same.”[13] Real American won the 2018 PEN Oakland Josephine Miles Literary Award.

[18] In July 2024, a Stanford alumna wrote on Autostraddle alleging that Lythcott-Haims began an affair with her when she was a 22-year-old senior student and continued after her graduation in 2011.