McNeil was born Sally Dempsey in Allentown, Pennsylvania and describes her upbringing as tough, including exposure to violence so frequently that she had thought it to be commonplace in every home.
[citation needed] As her brother and her uncle before her, McNeil served in the United States Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton.
[2] McNeil met her first husband, Anthony Lowden, at Parris Island while in the Marines, and were married for four years and had two children together: Shantina, John, and a third child from another man.
As she was being transferred to Camp Pendleton, McNeil filed for divorce from Anthony, winning custody of their two oldest children in the process.
[5] In 1990, McNeil was demoted from her position as a sergeant for a continuously poor behavioral record, including anger issues, violence, and lashing out at others.
Child services frequently visited her for reports of abuse to her children by her neighbors, teachers and family members.
The children suffered from malnutrition, the apartment was unlivable and they were both left alone for multiple days in a row while Sally would go to the gym, out of town, out of the state, and out of the Country.
According to his friend, Dwayne "DJ" Jeffers, Ray got into an altercation with another man one night whilst working as a bouncer at a nightclub and ended up sticking his fingers through his eyes.
Shantina, Sally's daughter, spoke about the same night to verify this, as she recalled seeing Ray coming home covered in blood and how he told her he had to do what he did because the others were trying to kill him.
[citation needed] McNeil attacked one of Ray's lovers at a bodybuilding show, pinning her to the floor and hitting her repeatedly.
Earlier in the night, Ray was on a date with Marianne Myers, a fellow member of Golds Gym, instead of Sally on Valentine's Day.
[17] Sally claimed and maintains that she shot Ray in self-defense when he, spurred by roid rage, began choking her after she accused him of adultery.
The State of California then appealed to the US Supreme Court which reversed the 9th Circuit's ruling and remanded the case back to that same venue for further action.