Kristopher Hugh Martin Schau (born 12 August 1970) is a Norwegian musician, TV host, comedian, author, and songwriter.

He has also been part of several bands, among them Gartnerlosjen, Hurra Torpedo, Kåper Gjete, Sinsen, Reidar Roses Orkester, Datsun, The Cumshots, Mongo Ninja, White Urine and The Dogs.

In 2007, Schau launched his television show, De 7 dødssyndene, focusing on the seven deadly sins.

They organized a petition and a boycott against the show's corporate sponsors, leading to several companies dropping their advertisements.

During the 2004 Quartfestival, a couple, who were both members of Fuck for Forest, had sex on stage during a concert with The Cumshots, a band fronted by Schau.