"Last Ditch Cabaret" is a song written and performed by Australian singer-songwriter, Mark Seymour.

The song was released in May 1997 as the lead single from his debut studio album, King Without a Clue.

[1] The song peaked at number 85 on the ARIA singles chart.

At the ARIA Music Awards of 1997, the song was nominated for two awards; Best Male Artist and Breakthrough Artist – Single.

[2] CD single This 1990s song-related article is a stub.