[5] Gay moved to Washington, D.C., in his late teens to pursue a career as a minister of a House of God church there.
[6] The couple bought a small house in southeastern Washington, D.C., at 1617 First Street SW, which was only a few blocks away from the Anacostia River.
[12] Gay left the House of God altogether in the mid-1950s, after not being named Chief Apostle of the church,[12] and, according to his son, "that's when my father lost his healing powers".
[2] He further stated to David Ritz, "if it wasn't for Mother, who was always there to console me and praise me for my singing, I think I would have been one of those child suicides you read about in the papers.
[18] Eventually, Gay withdrew from social life, developing alcoholism and practicing cross-dressing, which humiliated his son, who, at the age of twelve, witnessed his father dressing in his mother's clothes.
[18] As Marvin grew older, his relationship with his father worsened and Gay often threw his son out for allegations of misbehavior.
[21] According to Alberta, Gay began to drink heavily in the 1950s, only furthering the friction in his relationship with Marvin and "he never did develop any love for the boy.
"[20] As a teenager, Marvin Jr. attempted to leave home for good following one big fight by enlisting in the US Air Force; a move which the younger Gay later admitted was a bad idea, as he found himself under superiors who had similar authoritarian leanings as his father.
This decision led to Marvin adding an "e" to his surname, which, it was stated, was done to quiet any rumors of his own sexual orientation, to emulate his idol Sam Cooke, who had also used a stage name with a silent "e", and to add more distance from his father.
Alberta finally stopped working so that she could enjoy the security of owning a house, and the new residence was spacious, with large outside porches, but Marvin did not visit often due to his strained relationship with his father.
In 1973, Marvin bought his parents a neo-Tudor house in the West Adams district of Los Angeles after moving them to California.
[27][28] By this time, Gay, a longtime alcoholic, had proven to be too difficult to continue his ministry and his marriage to Alberta would grow more contentious with his drinking.
[citation needed] By the early 1980s, Gay's marriage to Alberta had deteriorated and, according to his wife in 1984, the couple had not shared the same bed in nearly ten years and, as a result, they were now sleeping in separate bedrooms.
[4] In October 1983, after months in Washington, D.C., Marvin returned to the West Adams home located at Gramercy Place.
"[30][31] On Christmas Day, 1983, Marvin gave his father an unregistered .38 caliber Smith & Wesson pistol to protect him from intruders and murderers after the younger Gaye, heavily addicted to cocaine, felt someone was really plotting to kill him.
[32] On March 31, 1984, Gay was angry because he could not locate a missing insurance policy document and he accused Alberta of misplacing the letter.
[33] When Gay initially refused, Marvin warned him not to enter his room, according to interviews from Alberta, the only witness to the shooting.
[34] He then went outside and sat on the front porch and awaited his arrest, which came after police discovered Marvin's body and confirmed that Gay had shot his son.
[37] Aware of Gay's failing health, doctors examined him in May and discovered a benign walnut-sized brain tumor.
[38] After results of Marvin's autopsy showed that he had traces of cocaine and PCP in his system, and pictures were shown of Gay after he was brought into custody, showing injuries from his final fight with his son, Judge Gordon Ringer agreed to let Gay enter a plea bargain.
[37] Gay eventually returned briefly to the Gramercy Place residence,[37] but health issues forced him to move to a nursing home, first in Inglewood around 1986, and in the final years of his life, to a nursing home in Culver City, California, where he died of pneumonia on October 10, 1998, nine days after his 84th birthday.