Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1992[1]) is a book written by American author and relationship counselor John Gray.

The book has sold more than 15 million copies[2][3] and, according to a CNN report, it was the "highest ranked work of non-fiction" of the 1990s,[4] spending 121 weeks on the bestseller list.

Gray states that when male tolerance to stressful situations is exceeded, they withdraw temporarily, "retreating into their cave", so to speak.

The "wave" is a term Gray uses to describe a natural dynamic centered around a woman's ability to give to other people.

When she gives of herself, but doesn't receive adequate love and attention in return, her wave becomes unbalanced, cresting and eventually crashing.

Gray explains that once she is rejuvenated by getting the support she needs, her wave is able to build and rise once again, with renewed love and energy to give.

[4] The book has become a "popular paradigm" for problems in relationships based on the different tendencies in each gender and has spawned infomercials, audiotapes and videotapes, weekend seminars, theme vacations, a one-man Broadway show, a TV sitcom, and a proposed movie topic with 20th Century Fox.

[9][10][11][12] Michael Kimmel, a professor of sociology at Stony Brook University, makes the assertion that men and women are not fundamentally different, contrary to what Gray suggests in his book.

In Kimmel's 2008 lecture at Middlebury College in Vermont, titled "Venus, Mars, or Planet Earth?

[13] In 2002, author Julia T. Wood published a critical response to the portrayal of the genders in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

"[16] A study by Bobbi Carothers and Harry Reis involving over 13,000 individuals, fittingly titled, "Men and Women are From Earth..."[17] found that on most psychological characteristics or tendencies, including the Big Five personality traits as well as sex-related questions like rating level of desire for casual sex, there was not a taxonomic difference between men and women on the vast majority of personality traits and preferences.