Depressed at being an 'ordinary' child in a talented family, and by the failure to beat his younger sister at swimming, Jack Bagthorpe enlists the help of his Uncle Parker in hatching a scheme to become equal.

Jack uses his father's immobility to corner him and make the prediction ("I see a Lavender Man bearing tidings") and shortly thereafter Uncle Parker appears in his suit to complete the prophecy.

Flushed with success Jack and Uncle Parker visit a store where they purchase a crystal ball and a set of tarot cards, and plot their next prediction which will involve a red and white bubble.

Because of his broken arm, scriptwriter Mr Bagthorpe is unable to work; The arrival of a Danish au-pair causes turmoil amongst the younger family members as they squabble over her attentions; Jack makes prophesies and teaches Zero to fetch sticks; Daisy continues to set fires.

During his absence the prophecy is fulfilled by a giant balloon carrying two men dressed as bears; however Mr Bagthorpe returns brandishing Jack's diary containing evidence of the conspiracy, to destroy any mystical illusion.