Godzilla and Jason Voorhees face off in the year 2023; Jesus and his disciples advertise the breakfast cereal Holy-Os; a turtle on a standoff with police after robbing a bank hides in his shell whenever they fire their weapons and is finally killed by a grenade; Handy Manny is deported after a tip from Bob the Builder; a mixup with a Magic Grow dinosaur and Grandma's heart medicine leads to disastrous consequences; a commercial for Chew Blast Gum encouraging throwing it at old people with a slingshot; Captain Planet is promoted to general, and is bogged down with paperwork; Nicki Minaj's sister Nicki Mortgage offers to refinance her producers' homes; a Cylon's surprise birthday party; song parody of Dinosaur Train; Mr. Magoo inadvertently takes on the Yakuza and easily takes them out with a sword, and is horrified at his actions upon looking through an eye glass; Thanos acquires the Infinity Gauntlet and remarks he finally has something to go with his wardrobe; odd mating rituals of mermaids; The Little Match Girl goes mad with power.

Goliath from Gargoyles turns to stone and gets covered in pigeon droppings; Todd sends a dick pic to Stacy; a husband and wife surprise each other; a haberdasher's hands are bleeding out due to Oddjob's hat; Godzilla destroys a city with a shark stuck in its groin; Doctor Manhattan raves with three women; KITT gets carjacked and Michael Knight gets inside Lightning McQueen from Cars; a passenger aboard an airplane piloted by Mr. Peanut has a peanut allergy; Douglas Quaid from Total Recall gets really grossed out by Kuato; a shark with a knife adapts to the human environment; two T-Rexes fight with their short arms; Peter Pan chooses Stinker Bell over Tinker Bell; the Paw Patrol must rescue animals from two burning treehouses; the Scooby-Doo gang observe the abundance of abandoned places in their area; Gul Madred captures and tortures a naked Picard in a game show; Yakko Warner from Animaniacs sings all about the Kama Sutra.

A little girl's Skip-It turns into a deadly weapon; Anastasia Steele enters an S&M relationship with Uncle Pennybags from the Monopoly board game; a truncated version of the movie Footloose; Mrs. Butterworth gets inappropriate; a naked Michael Bay defends his latest sequel for Transformers; Quint from Jaws complains of a "shark BJ"; a Nazi officer's sandwich goes missing and Adolf Hitler may have taken it; a member of the Midnight Society from Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Paul Edgecomb escorts John Coffey down the Green Mile, but has to go back when he forgets his keys (running joke throughout episode); The Dementors from Harry Potter go on strike for longer lunch hours; Kel Kimble from Kenan & Kel comforts his half-boy, half-orange soda son; two kids imagine which "Ranger" character from pop culture could win in a fight; a possessed child is given a time-out for disrupting dinner; Skylanders: Trap Team learn a different meaning of the word trap; Oskar Schindler has a grocery list and the customer behind him realizes he's in a Robot Chicken sketch; Optimus Prime goes to jury duty; Zelda from the Legend of Zelda games farts in bed; Master Splinter gives the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the sex talk; a neutered dog gets a change in personality; two teens trying to cover up a crime get attacked by a haunted moped; John Coffey finally gets sent to the electric chair -- and gets a surprise when Edgecomb pulls the lever.

A perverted coconut tree; Screw Head from GoBots acts screwy; a crime scene of Lois Lane's murder; Max Black and Caroline Channing from 2 Broke Girls cause natural disasters; the Stone Protectors perform at a wedding; Katie Hall presents her report on Abigail Adams at San Dimas High School; Batman couldn't care less whether or not Superman bleeds; Elliott and E.T.