It usually has a heterosexual focus, and norms surrounding sexuality can differ between each national depending on levels of religiosity, conservatism, location as well as other factors although a common Somali culture exists.
The calmasho process may place a greater level if encumbrance upon the male than the female due to the meher stipulation whereby money is exchanged from man to woman, whereby the woman can set any price; or for introverted men, the doonasho, soo doonis or geedh fadhiisi process, whereby a man is required to inquire about his courtee to her male relative, usually her father.
Such terminology is intentionally unpretentious and is used in order to reduce pressure and provides for a less formal atmosphere, as the terms aren't necessarily romance-oriented, and as such leave options open for a platonic, transcendent, vocational or intellectual relationship.
[5] Platonic terms of endearment used between male and female associates may include words such as wehel (friend), jaale (comrade), jaar (neighbour) or lammaane (partner).
[7] A derogatory term for a person (usually a woman) who ostensibly has no prospects for marriage or is past the typical marrying age is guumeeys which in another sense means owl, and roughly translates to English as spinster or femcel.
[11]The most common marital practises among Somalis which are universal among both southern maamuls (provinces) i.e. konfuur galbeed or Jubaland, or northern such as Puntland, include the following four stipulations: (a) markhaati (witnesses, usually relatives), (b) hadiyad (a gift), (c) ogolaanshada (consent), (d) warfaafin waqaf ah (public declaration).
The most controversial Somali cultural practice pertaining to romantic coaxing is arguably dhabargaraac, a bridenapping practise which is similar to Ala kachuu in Kyrgyzstan.
However, the Hantiwadaag (socialist) period of Somali history, from 1969 until 1991, had a more lax attitude towards dating, as the government had an averse perception of an overtly strenuous form of religiosity.
In the contemporary era, the charge of faasiqnimo is sometimes levelled at those engaging in qabyaalad, i.e. mahrams refusing to officiate or arrange a marriage due to being from different clans or regional states.
[18] Makrux or makruh is a word used by some Somalis to describe an act whose legal or religious ruling is uncertain, but is nonetheless taboo, disapproved or detestable.
Since xeer can be based on arbitrary traditional views some of which may date back to pre-Islamic proto-Somali systems such as Waaqism, ambivalent circumstances can often create friction between the two schools of thought.
The Islamic terminology that is sometimes inculcated into Somali society to defer such sentiments include ahlul-hawa, which literally means people of base desires, and usually implies a conceited combination of being both hedonistic and nihilistic.