Arthur Clifford Baynes (30 November 1892–13 January 1971)[1] was an English teacher and comedian who performed under the stage name Stainless Stephen.

Well, slight pause to heighten dramatic effect, let me tell my dense public innuendo that I was born of honest but disappointed parents in anno domini eighteen ninety something, full stop.

"[3] Closing a broadcast on 22 March 1941, he said: "And so, countrymen, semi-colon, all shoulders to the wheel, semi-quaver, we'll carry on till we get the Axis semi-circle, and Hitler asks us for a full stop!"

Never quite in the front rank of British music hall comedians, according to historian Roy Busby: "His topical comedy and inverted punctuation was known to irritate as well as amuse".

[5] He made several tours for ENSA during the Second World War, supported Will Hay at the Victoria Palace in 1944, and appeared on the bill at the London Palladium's Royal Command Performance in 1945.