The Green Eye of the Yellow God

The Green Eye of the Yellow God, a 1911 poem by J. Milton Hayes, is a famous example of the genre of "dramatic monologue", a music hall staple in the early twentieth century.

[3][4] It has often been misattributed to Rudyard Kipling, who classed its author as being among his many imitators,[5] and often parodied, most famously by Billy Bennett as The Green Tie on the Little Yellow Dog.

It is set in Nepal ("to the north of" Kathmandu), and tells the tale of a wild young officer known as "Mad Carew", who steals the "green eye" of a "yellow god" (presumably an emerald in a gold statue) in order to impress his beloved.

In his book My Brother Evelyn and Other Profiles,[7] Alec Waugh gives Hayes's account of the writing of the poem: I wrote The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God in five hours, but I had it all planned out.

In December 2011, the BBC radio programme From Our Own Correspondent broadcast[8] a piece by journalist Joanna Jolly in which she detailed a trip she made to Sankhu, a village to the north-east of Kathmandu.

Although there is no evidence that Hayes ever visited the area, the temple is mentioned in written sources dating back at least 200 years, so it is entirely plausible that he could have heard stories of this statue and the unusual practices regarding its eyes from returning colonial military personnel and wove these elements into his dramatic monologue.

In the episode "Stage Struck" of the ITV sitcom Rising Damp, the character Rupert Rigsby (played by Leonard Rossiter) begins reciting the poem to impress Peter Bowles's character Hilary, who throws him out of the room whilst he is still reciting it, only for Rigsby to barge back in babbling about Mad Carew, to finally be slung out again.

A music hall sketch named "Me'em Sahib" features a performer trying to recite this, and keeps getting heckled by two British colonial officers sitting in a box seat, who have just returned and "update" him on the circumstances.

In an episode of Upstairs, Downstairs, Mr. Hudson recites the opening lines at a seaside holiday outing by the staff of 165 Eaton Place on the last day of peace before World War I began.

In the episode "The Fear of Wages" of the long-running radio comedy The Goon Show, characters trying to come up with excuses frequently answer along the lines of; "Well, it's a long story.

Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine use part of the opening in their song "Perfect Day to Drop the Bomb", which starts "To the north of Kathmandu there's tiny children sniffing glue".

Steptoe and Son actor Harry H. Corbett used this poem as the B-side to his 1963 Pye Records release "Like The Big Guys Do".

In I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again the spoof serial "Curse of the Flying Wombat" is based on the search for the "Green eye of the little yellow dog" in Kathmandu.

One of their number attempts to recite the poem to the non-English speaking audience, who mistake his earnest performance for a comedy routine.

In "The Adventure of the Six Maledictions" by Kim Newman, Mad Carew flees to England with the emerald, pursued by the yellow god's devotees, and turns to the criminal mastermind Professor Moriarty for protection.

In the eighth episode of season two in the comedy series Mind Your Language, Ali Nadeem and Ranjit Singh recite a line of the poem with comedic fervour.