This satirical play opens with a rhyming prolog recited in unison by Dawn, Ashley, Peaches, and Patty.
As Patty works her way into the tightly knit clique of secretaries, she is introduced to some of the strange rituals and rules practiced by their cult.
At the first meeting she attends, she is puzzled as to why Susan collects the women's used tampons, and why she is required to sign a pledge of celibacy to join.
Despite signing the pledge, Patty quickly finds herself in a sexual relationship with Buzz, one of the company lumberjacks, and shortly after, she also hooks up with Dawn, the "Office Lesbian".
Susan starts drinking and driving, Peaches begins to binge eat, Dawn becomes more sexually aggressive, and Ashley becomes violently jealous over the fact that Patty wins secretary of the month.
On the last night of the month, Susan gathers the secretaries in the woods to kill a lumberjack, in this case, Buzz, and to steal his jacket for Patty, the newest member of the cult, to wear.
After the women take turns chain sawing Buzz to death, the play ends with another short and chilling rhyme: "Patty's got her jacket now.
James Hannaham of The Village Voice wrote, "The Secretaries [is] funnier than it is plot-driven and potentially taxing at an hour and a half".
[4] Reviewers also agreed that the show was too long for a plot that is forecast from the opening scene: "What [Director Kate Stafford] doesn’t do is edit…the last half hour of the play drags, in part because the climax has been foretold but mostly because of repetition".