"The Size of a Cow" is a 1991 single by British alternative rock band the Wonder Stuff from their third album, Never Loved Elvis (1991).

[4] Described by Select's Nick Griffiths as "Madness meets the Bay City Rollers",[5] the song combines a pessimistic lyric with an upbeat backing, a feature Hunt was proud of.

[11] Polydor delayed releasing "The Size of a Cow" in the United States for commercial reasons, instead opting to issue "Caught in My Shadow" as the lead single from Never Loved Elvis there.

[12] Record Mirror made "The Size of a Cow" its single of the week upon release, with Peter Stanton's review describing the song as "a rampant jingly-jangly-organ affair that trips at a happier than happy pace".

[13] Reviewing Never Loved Elvis in Vox, Keith Cameron described the song and "Caught In My Shadow" as "paragons of pop virtue", noting "huge melodic sweeps, artfully clever lyrics and nagging hummability".