The Virtuous Burglar (Italian title: Non tutti i ladri vengono per nuocere)[1] is a one-act play by Dario Fo.
A Feydeau-style farce in which a burglar who is in the act of burgling the house is interrupted by the arrival of a couple – who are in fact having an affair.
The farcical complications that ensue also involve the arrival of the burglar's wife.
The woman believes that the 'detective' has phoned the police already and tells the owner to shoot himself.
The owner takes the gun and forces the burglar to pretend to be the woman's husband.
Anna comes in and tells them she had a telephone call from a woman (the burglar's wife) who said she was having an affair with her husband.
The owner introduces the burglar and his "wife" and Anna invites them to stay the night.
The burglar's real wife turns up and, after a brief conversation, believes that her husband has two wives.
The burglar attempts to explain things, but the others shut him up so he doesn't reveal the affairs, saying it's all one big misunderstanding.
[2] Ed Emery has carried out an English translation ("The Good that a Burglar Can Bring").
[3] Joe Farrell has carried out an English adaptation ("The Virtuous Burglar").