Two Thousand and None is a Canadian independent dark comedy drama film directed by Arto Paragamian and starring John Turturro, Oleg Kisseliov, Katherine Borowitz, and Julian Richings.

A recently divorced paleontologist, Benjamin Kasparian, visits his doctor, who informs him that he is suffering from an unusual brain disease called Talbot's Syndrome, and that he has less than six weeks to live.

Initially philosophical about his fate, Kasparian decides to enjoy himself as much as he can until his imminent death, much to the disapproval of his ex-wife, Amanda, who watches him have an ill-advised affair with a younger woman, Daphne.

[3] Derek Elley of Variety was negative about Two Thousand and None, stating, "partly because of the precise, immaculately lit lensing, but mostly because of the bloodless performances and zingless dialogue, the film has an over-clinical feel that plays against the basic concept... Turturro isn’t capable of carrying this kind of black comedy without more help from his surrounding cast, who say their lines but don’t bring much more to the table.

At one point, after the doomed protagonist enjoys bathroom sex with a horny young lady, he hides behind the shower curtain when someone rushes in to use the toilet.