"Vampires Will Never Hurt You" was written by band members Frank Iero, Matt Pelissier, Ray Toro, Gerard Way, and Mikey Way, and was produced by Geoff Rickly and Alex Saavedra.

[1][2] Upon witnessing the September 11 attacks, however, he decided to start a band in an attempt to "take stock of his own life"; he spent time writing music in his parents' basement using only his guitar, including the majority of "Vampires Will Never Hurt You".

[6] However, on the day of the recording, an abscess in Gerard Way's tooth led to him being in too much pain to sing; in the middle of the session, he left with the mother of their then-manager Sarah Lewitinn to get emergency dental work.

[7][8] Because of budget constraints, which prohibited the band from affording another day in the studio, Saavedra initially attempted to get a good vocal take by hiding Way's pain medication, before deciding to punch him in the mouth.

[9] My Chemical Romance biographer Tom Bryant later wrote that the punch served as a way for Way to more easily method act the character, with Way noting in an interview that the recording of "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" was the first time he used the technique when singing.

[32] Additionally, the song remains one of the only from I Brought You My Bullets to continue appearing regularly in the band's live sets,[22] with performances in both the setlists and encores of their reunion tour.

[35] Desiree Bowie, writing for the Recording Academy, similarly praised the song as a "hint at the future of the band's sound",[36] while Caroline Sullivan of The Guardian instead described the track as being "the juiciest tune the Ramones never wrote".

The staff of Billboard included the track in their list of the band's 15 best songs, with Taylor Weatherby declaring the lyric "And these thoughts of endless night / Bring us back into the light / Can you stake my heart?"

[22] In contrast, Chloe Spinks of Gigwise placed the song at #60 (of 79) in her ranking of the band's entire discography, despite praising it as being "one of more complex and interesting compositions" on I Brought You My Bullets.